Intelligent Design

Dr. Will Rollins was a world famous atheist. He went from city to city proclaiming the virtues of a godless life and the triumphs of the pursuits of science. He wrote books, gave lectures and did interviews, all in the cause of a world without religion. And people listened. Not in huge amounts, but his well reasoned and thoughtful arguments caused many intelligent theists to have second thoughts at the very least. This is about a day in the life of  Dr.Rollins that changed his life forever.

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Rollins was in Atlanta preparing to give a speech denouncing the Baptist church and its open campaigning against a gay marriage bill when he heard a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" he said.


"May I come in?" The voice was female.



Rollins looked up, somewhat suspicious but convinced there was no danger. There had of course been the one incident in Dallas the year before when a crazed pro-lifer had tried to stick him with a butter knife, but since then he had carried a small can of mace with him just in case so he said "By all means."


The woman who then slipped into the room caused his eyes to widen. She was drop dead gorgeous. Supermodel tall and thin but curvy and voluptuous, slim and delicate features and fiery red hair and sparkling blue eyes.


"Hello Dr.Rollins. My name is Lucy. May I speak with you a moment?" Her voice was soft and velvety and almost a purr to it.


He composed himself for a second before responding.


"Certainly. What about?"

"I've come to ask you to stop." Lucy replied.


"Stop?" he said. "Stop what?"


"Stop lecturing. Stop writing. Stop telling people there isn't a god."


His face hardened. So, she was one of those crackpots after all.


"That I will never do, madam. People need to hear the truth and I am completely committed.to bringing it to them."


"Just give me a chance to say my piece," she said imploringly. "You always ask for a fair hearing from others, now I would like the same courtesy."


Rollins paused for a moment and sighed, before responding "Very well, but you must know I won't debate on this. I will hear what you have to say and then I must ask you to please leave."


Lucy smiled at him, a radiant smile full of bright pearly teeth.

"Thank you, Dr.Rollins. I'd like to tell you a story, if I could. Or maybe propose a scenario. What if there was a god out there?"


Rollins said nothing to this, but rolled his eyes and smirked slightly.


"What if there really was a god, and he really did create the universe, but he wasn't all powerful and all knowing? What if he was out there, but we operated on such a small scale that he wasn't at all able to detect our existence at all? Like a scientist can barely detect a single cell, much less know what or if it wants. Except that cell is our whole planet. What then?"


He chuckled slightly, then said "In that case, it would scarcely be different than not having any god at all."


"You're right of course. It would be no different from a godless universe. But what if there was a way for this god to interact with the world, or at least to 'detect' potential problems like a biologist detects a sick cell?"

"Then one would assume he would attempt to heal the sick cell, if at all possible."

"What if he determined sickness by how much people believed in him, by how many people had faith in him or some version of him?"

"I suppose we would have a sickness, and he would try to cure it."

"Let's continue, then, with the cell analogy. You are observing a cell and you notice the cell is sick. You don't know what the sickness is and but are convinced it will spread to the other cells rapidly. You have no method of tending to sick cell but you are certain with a minimal effort, you could destroy the cell. What do you do?"

"Well, in the increasingly hypothetical situation, I would probably destroy the cell."

"Of course!" She smiled broadly again. "Of course you would. I have a couple of final 'what ifs' for you doctor. What if you could somehow send an emissary into the cell to try and diagnose the problem at the subatomic level and see if you could fix it? What if that emissary came to you and gave you a warning? What then?"

"Well, I.." but he stopped there. He didn't quite know what to say to her ridiculous scenario and frankly had had enough of it. "Who are you, exactly?"

"I think you know who I am by now, doctor. Think about what I've said."

With that, she winked and exited the room.

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Rollins sat back in his chair to ruminate over the strange woman and her absurd situation. The whole thing was preposterous. He shook his head and went back to his speech.

Later that day, he gave his speech to a packed auditorium. He spoke eloquently and movingly. He received a standing ovation. Once he had left the stage, a blue laser-like beam enveloped Rollins, killing him instantly. The beam expanded, destroying the room, then Atlanta. Then the world.

The moral of the story? If god existed, he'd be a real bastard.