Copycat

I'm am impostor. Not that the kind who pretends to be batman or Stallone or something at a party. They're amateurs compared to what I do. Officially, I don't even exist, and what I do isn't even acknowledged as something that really happens.

There hasn't been a president since Kennedy who has ever appeared in public. The moment they are elected, the CIA, FBI and all the branches of the military come together to find or create a body double of that person so precise that they are virtually identical. This person then makes every public appearance in place of the president so he is literally never in harm's way. This is to ensure that even if someone gets through the mountain of security around the president, they have no chance of finishing him off.

Little known fact: Reagan almost certainly would have been assassinated by John Hinckley had he actually been there to get shot. Instead, his impersonator, one Clyde Daly, was shot and bled to death within a couple of minutes of the incident. The real president, or perhaps another body double, was instead inserted into the hospital and no one was the wiser.

Even though these impostors are put into place for the good of the nation, don't get the idea that they have any choice in the matter. As soon as the presidential candidates are announced, they begin to look for people who are very close in physical appearance. They are then taken against their will and given plastic surgery and elocution and enunciation lessons to make the facsimile a virtual copy.

At least, this is what happened to me. I was minding my own business, living a quiet but happy life in my home city when I was abducted. I was always told I resembled Barack Obama but I always just laughed it off. I didn't see it. The government did I guess.

Besides the kidnapping, it wasn't so bad a life. They paid me handsomely and I got to see and live a side of life most people never even get to dream about. I did feel slightly uneasy to be lying to everyone I met, at least at first. But when even his wife couldn't tell the difference, I began to see the whole thing as a kind of private joke and began to relish the role.

Oh yeah, I guess I forgot to mention: only a very few people know this even goes on. A few high placed intelligence and army officers, the president himself and me. Not the VP, not his family. No one.

Obama really is an amazing man, by the way. Charming, gracious, quick witted and intelligent. It really is an honor to fill his shoes, even if it is as a human shield.

I suppose there really isn't any reason for me to write this. There is almost no chance this little account will ever see the light of day, and even if it did I can't imagine it would be believed. but I like to write it anyway, even if it never gets read by anyone anywhere. It's a record of what my life was like and it makes me feel good to write it. When you spend all day for years pretending to be someone else, if you don't get to reassert yourself once in awhile you go a little crazy.

I also fear for the future. It seems likely to me that once Obama's out of office, they'll simply do away with me so word doesn't get out. I'd fight it but they've probably got another guy in the wings they can just pull out to take over if something happens to me.

The reverse is also possible. It's occurred to me that once the president is elected, they no longer have any need of him and could simply put of us in his place to deliver whatever policies they required. I know, a little paranoid. But after everything I've been through, can you really blame me?