An evening with the Smiths

"Change the channel, will you?"

"I like this show."

"No you don't, you're not even watching it!"

"I know. That's what I like about it, I can follow it without watching."

"That doesn't make sense! My favorite show is almost on! Change it!"

"Alright, alright! *grumble* These! Is that better?"

"Much! I don't know why you care, you're playing Solitare anyway."

"I like Solitaire. But I like to listen to the TV while I play it."

"So silly. Typical, thinking only of yourself!"

"What? I didn't know you wanted to watch anything until 10 seconds ago! And probably only then because I was enjoying that!"

"Enjoying the 6 o'clock news? You've never cared for a second about anything going on in the world!"

"Maybe I'm trying to start. Anyway, you insisted on me changing it to 'your favorite show' and now it's on Wheel of Fortune. THAT'S you favorite show? Give me a break!"

"At least I'm actually watching! it's different every day! Not like you! You just sit there like a lump, playing Solitaire and eating nachos, getting fatter and fatter!"

"Like you're one to talk! I can't even remember the last time you even left the house, unless it was to buy more chocolate donuts!"


"No wonder I don't sleep with you, the way you talk to me!"

"I don't wonder,  I know! Who could get hard at the sight of you, all jello and no mold!"

"You're a bastard."

"You're a bitch."

(Silence. Then:)

"Why are we fighting? We never used to fight like this."

"I know! Fighting over the TV like that! It's so silly!"

"Listen, why don't we go out? I think we've been cooped up here too long."

"Oooh, that's a wonderful idea! We haven't been out in ages! Let's go get changed!"

"Ok, just let me finish this game of Solitare first."

"Oh, come on! You can play that anytime! Let's get ready!"

"Just give me a minute!"

"I knew you were full of it!"

"Get off my case!"

"Get off the computer!"

"Watch your damn TV show!"

THE END